A special bond with Bernice

Over the years, we stayed in close touch with cousin Bernice at all the places which she once called home, from Johor Baru and Kluang in Johor to Kuala Lumpur, Perth, Melbourne and then London.

Waiting for our train at an MRT station in Singapore;
[L to R] Bernice, Gillian, me and Melina

The growing-up years for Bernice and her sister, Gillian, was an extraordinary lifestyle in the dairy farm located at Ayer Hitam-Kluang when their father, Uncle Steven, was working with the Government-run Central Animal Husbandry Station.

In the farm, they shifted at least three times to various quarters and their final home was a rambling farmhouse set on a hilltop, surrounded by rolling hills of grassy paddocks that were often dotted with grazing cows.

The farm, where the number of cows – and later, goats too – outnumbered people, was a refreshing change for city-slickers like us, who longed to escape to this green lung that was modelled after an Australian dairy farm.

Their home in the farm had an open-door policy that welcomed everyone in the extended family, and it was always a popular weekend destination.

At the farm with Bernice and Gillian;
[Back Row] That's me with Aunty Irene

So, the aroma of fresh cow dung – derived from eating lush grass – soon became a familiar fragrance when we visited the milking sheds and calf pens, and whenever the wind changed direction and sent the pong in the direction of the house!

Developed on the edge of secondary jungles where wild animals roamed, wild boars would often break through the fence to terrorize the grazing cows in the paddocks.

To protect the herds that were bred for the supply of milk, Uncle was assigned a licensed double-barrel gun to shoot and kill wild animals that intruded into the farm.

Armed with his gun, Uncle would hop into his four-wheel drive vehicle for a slow drive-about in the farm at night, to check on the herds left in the paddocks.

Meanwhile, dad also used to have a licensed gun for hunting while he was based in the districts for work but had given it up after his retirement.

So, when Uncle invited dad to join him on his night rounds to check on the herds, it was yet another reason for us to be at the farm.

Even while they were staying at the farm, Uncle and Aunty did not hesitate to pack the family into the car for a drive down to JB or Masai for our family gatherings.

Take a closer look at the masthead design for My Johor Stories [See above!] for a snippet from a note written by my dad to me, that’s included in this design.

In the center, the last line my dad wrote reads as: “Kluang gang came down yesterday.”

Dad was fondly referring to Uncle Steven, Aunty Polly and their two girls as the Kluang gang, an adventurous family who would make excursions to JB or Masai, sometimes even on the spur of the moment!

Bernice and I on holiday in Hong Kong

Uncle and his family also earned the nickname, Champions because the scenic drive from the farm to JB was never an obstacle to deter them from joining us for any special occasion.

When asked how long was their drive? Gillian would bluntly reply, “Five minutes.”

This was because she would doze off to sleep in the car and when she woke up on their arrival, it must have felt like just five minutes ago when she had boarded the car!

During the girls’ school-going years in Kluang, I remember accompanying Aunty to send or pick them up from school and then going shopping or having a meal in town.

I also remember the year-end school holidays when Bernice and Gillian would be in JB to join us for Christmas shopping and of course, our Christmas party.

Enjoying a seafood dinner at Lamma Island, Hong Kong

When the girls were old enough, they also joined me on an annual trip to Orchard Road in Singapore to take in the city lights and soak in the season’s festive cheer.

Since the day she was born, I had the joy of seeing Bernice as she blossomed into girlhood and was also there when she started her exciting and eventful career.

After graduating from University, she was ready to start her career with an internship, and I remember going through my wardrobe and presenting her with a few pieces of smart office outfits.

From then on, she made her own way up the proverbial corporate ladder to reach new heights of achievement with every organization that she worked with.

Suddenly Bernice was a fellow career woman and we moved into a cousin-peer relationship.

I was thrilled when she invited me on a holiday break with her to Hong Kong in 2000 and she even took care of arranging my return flights, JB – KL – Hong Kong.

It was a very interesting experience for me because our roles were then reversed as she took the lead to organize our trip to meet with her colleagues who were based there, with a side trip to Macau too.

After our Notting Hill street fight:
That's Bernice pointing to my (ouch!) facial wound!

Later, while Bernice was based in the UK, we arranged an epic European trip where I escorted our mothers from Malaysia to meet with her in London.

With her help, we planned two separate trips to Paris and Rome, with my sister Pearly, who also lived in UK, who joined our mothers and I to make up a foursome.

While we stayed in London with Bernice, I remember every day when she would sit us down for daily briefings to discuss logistics and other travel details to ensure that we should find our way about the city on the next day’s outing.

The romantic-comedy, Notting Hill, which starred Hugh Grant and Julia Roberts, was BIG since 1999 so I asked to visit the weekend street markets there and Bernice kindly obliged.

It turned out to be an unforgettable outing, not because we had a close encounter with the charming Hugh Grant but because we were involved in a street fight that ended with a rude woman trying to take a swipe at Bernice but she missed.

Instead, one of her claw-like nails grazed my face…

Enjoying our English Tea at Windermere, Lake District;
[L to R] Aunty Polly, mum, Bernice, Pearly and me.

It happened so fast that I did not feel any pain, not until we were on the bus and the cool breeze brushed my face… and Bernice spotted fresh blood trickling down.

Our eventful holiday continued to Paris and Rome, and then back to the UK after each destination, and in the next sector of our holiday, Bernice joined us on a self-drive trip, North to the beautiful Lake District.

In 2002, Bernice was back in JB again to join the extended family gathered for a grand celebration of our grandmother’s 90^th birthday.

Then when Bernice got married on 30 December 2004, for some reason, I could not attend her wedding arranged in Melbourne.

Bernice and Gillian with their parents
at grandmother's 90th birthday celebration

Bernice and Jay’s wedding was held in a gorgeous setting of a beautiful vineyard on a sunny summer’s day and everything went on beautifully, but I also heard about their battle with uninvited guests – flies!

The following year Bernice and Jay hosted a wedding reception for relatives in JB and I was honoured to be one of the two MCs at this happy event.

After their two sons were born in Australia, the family relocated to the UK.

One day, Bernice sent a message telling me about Karen, her friend from Kluang who was also based in the UK, whose grandfather used to operate a Shanghai Dhoby (laundry) shop in Johor Baru.

I instantly knew who she was talking about and happily replied, confirming that I was in touch with Karen’s uncle who had taken over the family business and that this Shanghai Dhoby story would also be featured in my book!

Soon after my book, My Johor Stories: True Tales, Real People, Rich Heritage was launched in July 2017, I had the pleasure to personally deliver my books to my sister, Pearly, and to Bernice in the UK.

With young Jackson and my book in 2017

[We had planned a family trip to Finland and on our return, we stayed with Bernice’s family.]

Bernice reminded me to bring along more books as she wished to share them with her friends, especially to present an autographed copy to Karen.

I remember, one morning, while I was signing my books for Bernice when Jackson, joined us at the table.

When Jackson looked at my book cover, his eyes widened when he suddenly recognized me from my brand identity (avatar) printed on the cover design.

“It’s you!” yelled the excited 10-year old.

“Yes, it’s me,” I calmly replied, trying hard to keep a straight face.

“You’re an author?” Jackson asked in an incredulous tone.

Bernice and I on Jalan Trus, JB in 2018

I replied, “Yes.” And Jackson jumped on me, clutching my arm so hard and almost broke it (thankfully it was not my signing arm!) as he gave me a big hug.

With her sons well trained and already quite independent, Bernice was able to visit JB again with her parents in 2018.

It was my pleasure to take them on a walking tour of the JB heritage quarter with a visit to the Shanghai Dhoby shop (then still open) at Jalan Tan Hiok Nee and onward to a food trail to savour all her favourite local street food.

Since her most recent visit to JB for an epic Chinese New Year reunion in 2020, our special bond with Bernice continues with regular WhatsApp chats and video chats.

Note: My books, My Johor Stories: True Tales, Real People, Rich Heritage and My Johor Stories 2: Interesting Places and Inspirational People are available from MPH bookstores nationwide and online from www.mphonline.com