Festive season with a difference

Looking back to our epic family reunion for Chinese New Year 2020, we comfort ourselves knowing that we had a most meaningful and memorable time together.

Grandfather with cousin Jessie on his lap,
and other grandchildren in this precious CNY
photo captured by the side of the badminton
court at No. 154 Jalan Ngee Heng
 

Last year, family members reunited in Johor Baru all the way from Australia and the UK, as well as Kuala Lumpur and Singapore, for a truly epic reunion here.

From the start of the nationwide lockdown under the Movement Control Order (MCO) on March 18, 2020, all annual festivals, religious and family events in the past 12 months took on another form.

The global pandemic has limited our traditional celebrations and gatherings, but it cannot stop the people from finding creative ways to meet and participate virtually for both happy and sad events.

Last year, I also had my first ever experience of attending a wedding ceremony virtually and when I joined a family bereavement during the MCO, I felt a double dose of sadness because attendees were limited for the wake and funeral.

Like many weddings, many funerals were also held with limited physical attendees but were virtually attended by many from all over the world.

My sisters, cousins and I
were dressed in the
same dress design one CNY

From the experience garnered since the start of the global pandemic, scientists have identified how the virus was being spreading by contact.

And to protect the vulnerable members of our families, we were advised to limit our movements, so it is best to stay safely at home.

If there was some benefit to gain from the limited movement control in the past year, it must be more knowledge and awareness of a whole calendar of annual celebrations in our multi-cultural community.

We are a nation of multi-racial groups, so it is good to learn to differentiate between cultural and religious celebrations of each race, whether they were religious prayers or ancestor worship obligations, and approach them with due respect and sensitivity.

It is timely to discover the difference between Thaipusam and Deepavali, Hari Raya Aidil Fitri and Hari Raya Aidil Adha, Vesak and Ponggal, Ching Ming and Hungry Ghost Festival, the various harvest festivals and that the Lantern Festival is often called the Mooncake Festival.

Grandmother with her five daughters and
her five sons-in-law on a visit to 
Uncle Billy's home one CNY

There is a whole lot more to learn about the cultural and religious practices of the Muslims, Buddhists, Taoists, Hindus, Sikhs, Christians, and the many indigenous groups who call Malaysia their home.

But there is one thing in common: Families are important in every community.

Movies have been made and songs were written with themes of going home for the holidays and it is no different here as in everywhere in the world.

At every major holiday like Christmas and Thanksgiving, Hari Raya and Chinese New Year, there will be exciting plans for going home to be with the family for the festivals followed by an exodus of people heading for home in the tradition of balik kampung.

Another precious photo of the five sisters
and their spouses on a CNY home visit

While it was significant to be with family and loved ones on the day itself, for the Chinese, the most meaningful time together must be on the eve of Chinese New Year to enjoy a festive feast and usher in the dawn of the new year together.

Reunion – as the word describes – reunites members of the family as a tradition, usually in the home of the family patriarch, for a festive feast dubbed the Reunion dinner.

Over the years of gathering in grandfather’s house to enjoy a sumptuous family feast lovingly homecooked by grandmother, I took it for granted that it was just an annual gathering where I would meet our cousins and play with them.

It was much later that I realized that the reason why our family was among the people gathered in grandfather’s house for the Reunion dinner, was because dad did not have any father’s house for us to balik kampung to!

Puffed rice crisps - a festive favourite of mine!

I discovered that based on tradition, our family should go to dad’s father’s house for the Reunion dinner but because dad was an orphan, so mum’s parents were the only family he had.

It was also traditional for married daughters to be with their in-laws for the Reunion dinner and the first day of the lunar new year. They would visit their parents later, usually on day two of the lunar new year.

The Chinese have an important tradition of the Reunion dinner, quite unlike many of my Muslim friends who have an amicable agreement with their spouses to spend the first day of Hari Raya with his parents for one year and in the next year, the first day of Raya with her parents.

From day two of Chinese New Year onwards, we will visit relatives not only in Johor Baru but also across the Causeway and to districts like Kulai and Kota Tinggi.

More festive favourites: pineapple tarts,
love letter rolls, cookies and cashew nuts

Dressed in new clothes and carrying dainty handbags, my sisters and I enjoyed meeting our relatives and happily received fortune money lai-see in red packets, hong pau (Cantonese) and stored them safely in our handbags.

In modern Chinese homes which practice ancestor worship, they have a family alter where joss items are burned, and a generous spread of food offered to the ancestors and Jade Emperor as part of the New Year celebrations.

After grandfather’s passing, the tradition of family gatherings continued but with a difference.

Grandmother would enjoy the Reunion dinner on the eve of Chinese New Year with the family of our eldest uncle – her eldest son.

And on the first day of the lunar new year, other family members would converge at his home to pay respects to grandmother and eldest uncle, who had inevitably taken over the role as the family patriarch.

A fully-loaded pineapple tart!

By this time, grandmother’s sons were all married with families of their own so they graduated to become the family patriarch where their sons and families would gather for their Reunion dinner.

By then, two of our aunts’ in-laws had passed on and our aunts were no longer obliged by tradition to spend the eve of Chinese New Year with the in-law side of the family.

Instead, they decided to gather in the home of their eldest sister – our home – and we chose to have our own version of Reunion dinner with an untraditional menu prepared by mum.

Our most memorable Chinese New Year eve meal was a simple yet delicious menu of nasi lemak, chicken curry and spicy sambal ikan bilis which we enjoyed eating together in our garden.

I also have fond memories of visits to homes of our relatives and the delicacies they traditionally served guests during Chinese New Year.

Freshly made kueh bahulu, sponge cakes

While it is easy to remember festive favourites like pineapple tarts and puffed rice crisps, I cannot forget the visits to the home of our grandaunt in Singapore where they served an aromatic Almond jelly.

The aroma of disgusting cockroaches may be appealing to some, but it was (urgh!) an absolute turn-off for me.

So whenever we visited this grandaunt, I always remembered to politely decline when this platter of Almond jelly was offered to me.

This year, we will not hear crashing cymbals and the rhythm of drums for traditional lion dance and dragon dance performances because they have been banned to discourage large gatherings, avoid close contact and possible infections.

This year, we can watch lion dances performed
from previous recordings, only on television...

As eldest uncle and his wife had passed peacefully in 2020, Chinese New Year 2021 will be different in yet another way because we will no longer have festive gatherings in their home.

Due to travel restrictions nationwide and the border between Singapore and Malaysia still closed, many family members are also unable to travel back to have Reunion dinner with their parents and loved ones.

With families separated at this special time of year, we can only look back and treasure the fond memories of our past experiences together while looking forward to better times ahead.

Meanwhile, we have a schedule for virtual gatherings with various branches of the extended family which started from 12.30pm on the eve of Chinese New Year.

The next virtual gathering is planned for 4pm this afternoon, with more virtual gatherings lined up on day one of Chinese New Year. 

We may be separated by distance, but we certainly remain close in thought.

It is indeed a festive season with a difference so let us obey the guidelines to stay home and stay safe. It is up to us to help break the chain of infection.

Happy Chinese New Year everyone! Kongxi, Kongxi!