Gone Six Years

 

Six years has gone by since that January 14 when I spent an unforgettable night keeping vigil by my dad’s bed in Hospital Sultanah Aminah after he had suffered an acute stroke.

 

Some birthday cards that dad received from us

It was the apex of an eventful day which simply started with accompanying dad to consult the specialist who prescribed medicine for shingles that had flared up on his abdomen.

 

I can still remember our last conversation when I received the note from the nurse with the prescription and dad reminded me to ask the pharmacist for the name of the medicine. Dad just wanted to know what drug was prescribed.

 

After all, his vast experience with working in government dispensaries and district health centres had equipped him with the knowledge and application of medicines which he used to prescribe for patients.

 

As dad and I walked toward the pharmacy to collect this prescription, I noticed something was just not right with him and it was then that he suddenly collapsed in my arms.

 

A playful shot of our parents;
taken at 154 Jalan Ngee Heng

Over the next few days our family rallied around to provide dad with the best possible care and attention until he quietly left us in the afternoon of January 17.

 

I was not alone in missing dad because I knew that my mother would also be missing him, maybe even more because they shared a life together long before I came along.

 

So many things seemed to remind me of dad: his empty chair, the place he would sit at the head of the table, his mug and cutlery, and I even missed waking up to that familiar sound of his electric shaver when dad would be shaving in front of the large mirror hung just outside my room door.

 

The first twelve months since dad’s passing was the most difficult for me and when January 2017 arrived, the memories remained fresh and the pain, raw.

 

My dad’s love for the written word was a strong influence in my life. I will never forget the excitement of seeing my first Letter-to-the-Editor published in The New Straits Times newspapers in 1970 and his encouragement to, “Never stop writing.”

 

Some birthday cards to dad from his wife!

Dad helped me fine-tune the draft of my Letter-to-the-Editor that highlighted the plight of midwives based in the districts. At that time, mum and dad worked with the Pusat Kesihatan Kecil or Health Sub-Centre, and were based in Masai for 13 years.

 

Dad had a newspaper subscription because my parents had a habit in reading the daily newspapers but we had to collect it from the news agents because there was no delivery service in that small town.

 

After dad’s retirement, we moved back to Johor Baru. Even as we advanced into the digital age where news was often read online, we kept a newspaper subscription because mum and dad still preferred to read from a hardcopy.

 

It was dad’s habit in reading which started me on reading and enjoying it. Dad had a preference for non-fiction and because I could never resist buying books, the book shelves at home groaned from the weight of our combined collection of books.

 

We still have a newspaper subscription
for mum to read the daily news on hardcopy

While we were school-going kids, dad bought three copies of the hardcover Oxford Pocket Dictionary, one each for his three daughters and showed us how to use this handy book. Mine is quite tattered, a very precious memento because dad taught us never to be lazy to look up the meanings so that we could use words appropriately.

 

I treasure fond memories of the countless games of Scrabble dad played with us, mostly on rainy days, and how he often won because of his superior skills in this word game. It was a bittersweet triumph when we started to win the games but he was always such a good sport to accept defeat gracefully.

 

I will never forget Christmas 2015 and our family staycation at a nearby resort, where we taught dad to play another word game, Bananagram. And at the ripe old age of 93, dad proved his mettle as he won in the very first game played with us.

 

Our Scrabble set with its box taped and mended
after years of family bonding through word games

Since my school days, the thrill of seeing my writing and my name published in print kept me seeking opportunities to write to newspapers and magazines or to participate in competitions that required writing stories or slogans.

 

One of these competitions was from a women’s magazine in 1995 that sought the best original and creative writing in not more than 20 words about the sentiments behind a favourite piece of gold jewellery that offered the top prize of gold fashion accessories worth RM2,000.

 

While sorting through old things in December 2020, I discovered my gold jewellery prize and copies of the contest documents for, My treasured gold pieces and the special sentiments behind it, along with the winning entry which read like this:

 

Bracelets forty years old

Intricately woven solid gold

From seven, three were sold

So to feed us, we are told!

 

The sight of my winning entry brought back a flood of memories and a rush of that exhilarating feeling of seeing my writing in print.

 

A birthday card from mum and dad
with meaningful thoughts and wishes

This piece of simple prose was inspired by mum’s experience with her set of seven solid gold bangles, fondly called Lai Pai Ark (Cantonese for One-Week-Bangles) that mum had bought with her own savings.

 

Mum said that for her wedding, her mother could not afford to present her with a set of gold jewellery, traditionally part of a daughter’s wedding trousseau, so these gold bangles which mum had bought for herself, were particularly precious to her.

 

Then when our family desperately needed money, mum was compelled to pawn three out of her seven bangles and was left with just four of her precious gold bangles.

 

Recently mum presented these four bangles, one each to her three daughters and only daughter-in-law, as mementoes from an early chapter of our parents’ lives.

 

Many years later, when I saw my work published in various sections of the newspapers like the Travel Times, Johor Streets and The Iskandarian, I still felt that same thrill of achievement to read my by-line with my contributions.

 

A card from dad to mum on
their wedding anniversary

In early 2006, I shared with dad a message I received from Ernest Poon, who met dad as a young man on a visit with the Sung family, their mutual friends who were then based in Cameron Highlands.

 

Ernest, who was following my stories in the newspapers, invited me to work on a book project to document the life’s work of Colleen Mavis Redit, a lady missionary from New Zealand who founded the ministry of Christian Missions Charitable Trust (CMCT) in Chennai, India.

 

A member of their International Board of Trustees, he described this ministry as “in the league of the work of Mother Teresa” and while there were many books published about Mother Teresa, there was no comprehensive document on the work of Colleen and CMCT.  

 

Fast-forward to April 2013, when Ernest returned from CMCT’s annual Board of Trustees meeting with a signed copy of the autobiography of Colleen, Realising a Vision through Faith, that I had written about her missionary work in India.

 

Birthday greetings to dad from his middle
daughter and family who live in the UK

When I turned its pages, I had flashbacks of my experiences in India – walking the slums of Chennai with Colleen and interviewing more than 40 people for their stories – and I relished the thought that this was technically my very first published book.

 

I shared my dad’s quiet joy, knowing that this book would be distributed worldwide through the CMCT International Board of Trustees and that all proceeds from book sales would be channelled back to CMCT for their ministry needs.

 

My journey in book writing continued a year after dad’s passing when I felt ready to accept the challenge from Think City Johor Baru to document a collection of my Johor stories as a slice of Johor culture and heritage, and as a tribute to dad.

 

My dad was the inspiration for countless stories including, My mentor, my dad, Going Back to Masai-chusetts, Green Fingers, and Travelling with Dad, published in my 2017 bestseller, My Johor Stories: True Tales, Real People, Rich Heritage and its sequel, My Johor Stories 2: Interesting Places and Inspirational People.*

 

While the global pandemic and lockdown periods pressed the pause button for work to progress less rapidly on the manuscript for Book Three of My Johor Stories, I was grateful for the slower pace which allowed me to do more research as I wrote exclusive stories for this final volume to complete a trilogy.

 

Birthday greetings and drawings to dad
from his grandchildren
(who now have families of their own!)

As the virus compelled us to stay vigilant to protect our families, friends and neighbours, we stayed connected with the use of modern technology and kept abreast with the news from around the world to respond better to the fight against this deadly virus.

 

This was very real because we grieved with friends whose families were infected with the dreaded virus, got very sick and some sadly, did not survive.

 

The lockdown also gave me the opportunity to share exclusive blog posts, some supported by photographs I discovered in dad’s old photo albums. One of my favourite discoveries must be Medals, Discharge Certificate and a Testimonial.

 

Among these exclusive stories was one on the adventurous Zebra in the JB General Hospital, our Family Fun at Istana Gardens, and my Iron Man in India.

 

The past year 2021, was a new experience with the nationwide lockdown, state borders closed and the vaccination drive which kicked off with the electronic registration for mum to receive her first appointment.

 

Mum had her own health issues so it was a new experience for us to manage mum’s health in the New Normal. After receiving her vaccinations, one-by-one, mum suffered and recovered from some side-effects, and is fully vaccinated now.

 

To keep mum safe, we maintained a strictly No Visitors policy so mum got used to staying in touch with family members by video calls and telephone chats. I believe dad would be pleased with the way we are keeping mum safe, secure and comfortable in her advancing age.

 

Echoing this message from a
daughter to her dad

Her grandchildren who are based in Australia and the UK, could call conveniently to let mum see and chat with her great-grandchildren – three girls in Australia and a boy and girl in the UK.

 

Among the precious mementoes I treasure were birthday cards exchanged between mum and dad, and a collection of birthday cards from their children and grandchildren.

 

Time has surely flown since the grandkids wrote/drew their greetings on cards and papers to send to dad on his birthday because now, they have families of their own.

 

This next generation may not have first-hand experience with their great-grandfather but my recollections will give them a glimpse of who he was and how his life had impacted us.

 

For instance, after our joint celebration for mum and dad’s birthdays in 2012, we made a road trip to Ipoh where dad grew up in the Boys Home in Elim Gospel Hall. In 2014, I shared another feature, Daddy Dearest, with more details of his early life.

 

Clearly, I am still missing dad and will keep talking about him because he deserves to be remembered. Six years may have gone by the memories are never gone.

 

*My Johor Stories books are available from MPH bookstores nationwide and online from www.mphonline