It was not
too long ago when I held these babies in my arms and they grew up to be
energetic kids and suddenly they are responsible individuals with lives of
their own.
 |
At Changi Airport with Jamie [Right]
and his sister Melanie [Left] |
I’m
talking about my six nieces and nephews.
Two in the UK, three in Australia and one in KL who would be joining the
three in Perth, to further his studies, very soon.
I’m not
sure what brought on this sentiment but as time is passing real fast, I’m reminiscing
on these young people. We are just four
years to 2020 and then it will be the year 2525 – the stuff that some
songwriter wrote about!
It’s
interesting that I go by several titles and will answer to each respectful
title they use to address me. I’m aunty
to our English niece and nephew, Ah Yee to my eldest sister’s boys and Kumaa to
my younger brother’s children. It took
me a while but I realise that this Cantonese tradition is rather useful to identify
which nieces and nephews are from my sisters’ families or my brother’s family.
I was
brought up to address our uncles and aunts with titles like Aunty Polly and
Aunty Sylvia or Uncle Billy and Uncle Arthur, and it was quite simple because
my mother’s siblings have English names.
I vividly
recall that amusing situation when I discovered that I’m Ah Yee because it
happened at my eldest sister’s wedding banquet held at her husband’s
hometown.
 |
Jamie with his wife Kimberley on their wedding
in August 2014, with
my sister, Pearly [Right] and Melanie [Left] |
In the
Chinese tradition, the bride and bridegroom’s family were seated together at
the main table. Her Cantonese
father-in-law was seated across the table and we were chatting in a convivial
way – me searching for the vocabulary and struggling to conduct the entire
conversation in Cantonese – because he did not speak English.
He was
rather traditional and my sister was to address him, “Low Yeh” while I’m told
that I should follow her lead to address him as, “Chan-Kar Low Yeh.” It was quite a mouthful but I managed.
In the
course of conversation, he was saying the phrase, “Ah Yee” to me several times but
I was so ignorant [even my mother did not prepare me for this!] that I thought
he was talking to someone behind me. So
I turned around to check for who was behind me – there was no one – and
suddenly it dawned upon me that he was referring to me!
I felt
rather foolish but that was how I discovered that my official title was “Ah
Yee,” the way my sister’s children should address me [when they came along] because
I’m younger to her. Since then, I never
looked back [pardon the pun!] and always answered to my official title with
pride.
I
remember Jamie was just three months old when my sister, Pearly and her husband
brought him from the UK to meet the family in Malaysia. He was just a tiny baby but he did very well
on such a long journey at such a tender age.
He was the first of our parents’ grandchildren and we had fun
introducing him to all the relatives here.
Since
that first trip, he and his sister, Melanie, have made numerous visits to Johor
and I particularly enjoyed our time together when they came to spend about four
weeks with us – without their parents.
Melanie –
our English niece – decided to volunteer at an elephant sanctuary in Sri Lanka
for a month and planned to come to Malaysia after that stint. She planned with Jamie to join us from the UK
and we had an eventful itinerary together, visiting relatives and doing the
touristy thing at various places of interest.
From touring the Petronas Twin Towers to white-water rafting in the
chilling waters of the Gopeng River, we made many special memories together.
We
also had fun with them when we holidayed in the UK and I treasure the pleasure
of spending time with our English family, going on invigorating walks on
Chinnor Hills, browsing for books and knick-knacks at charity shops and indulging
in English fare – from buttered crumpets, pies and puddings to my favourite
Walkers crisps!
In
2014, we received a message from Jamie, asking us to save that date in August. It was a much anticipated event and in the
summer of 2014, my siblings and I were in the UK again to witness Jamie’s
wedding to his sweetheart, Kimberly. It
was a joyous and memorable day – and rather cold too – but we were together for
a lovely wedding celebration.
 |
| Andrew and his Ah Yee |
One of my
fondest memories of Andrew, the older of my eldest sister’s two sons, was when
he approached me to ask for the meaning of the word, “enormous.” He probably discovered this word while
watching shows in the Cartoon Network but I was both touched and amused that he
was curious for the meaning of this word.
I can never forget the pleasure of explaining its meaning in simple
language to such a young child.
Another
unforgettable experience with Andrew and his brother, Aaron, was when my sister
was suddenly taken ill and her husband rushed her to hospital. They could not leave their young boys alone
at home so Ah Yee came to stay with them.
 |
| Aaron with his Ah Yee |
While I
was with the boys, there were a crucial few hours at the hospital, waiting for
the doctor to examine and diagnose my sister.
A feeling of dread and uncertainty prevailed because the boys saw their
mother in great pain and discomfort for the very first time.
Instead
of trying to distract the boys with something, I spent time talking through the
whole incident with them. It was simply
therapeutic to talk about it and listen to their comments so that I could reassure
them that the doctors would do everything necessary to help their mother get
well.
I can
still picture their innocent, young faces when I encouraged them to talk about
it. They were both clearly shocked to
see their mother in pain and I was too but I remember their courage when I
asked them to pray with me for their mother.
Their childlike words and sentences simply wrung my heart out as we
talked to God about our concerns and asked for His healing hands to touch my
sister.
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| Ah Yee and Andrew's family with his mother in Cape Town |
My sister
was admitted and when my brother-in-law came home, I went to the hospital where
I stayed overnight to accompany her. By
God’s grace, my sister made a full recovery and this sudden illness never
recurred again.
Well, if
there was a child who was openly affectionate, it must be Aaron. He was on the plump side and I used to brace
myself whenever we met because he had a habit of giving me a running-jumping
hug! Meeting him was like…Oof!...getting
the wind knocked out of me!
Every
time he came at me with his flying hug I thought he was going to pluck off my
earlobes (bleeding from my dangling ear-rings!) and give me a few cracked ribs…
but I’m grateful that I lived to share this fond memory.
 |
| Dinner in Delhi with Aaron, his fiancee, his mother and Ah Yee |
While
Andrew and Aaron furthered their studies in Perth and found work there, we remain
in touch with the help of modern technology.
I had fun exploring Perth when I visited them several times. I’m truly blessed to have a relationship with
these boys from young and thanks to regular group chats and frequent Facetime
conversations, it has kept our bonds close.
Last year
I was with Andrew and his family on a visit to Cape Town, South Africa and this
year, I was on a trip to Delhi-Jaipur-Agra in India with Aaron and his fiancée. Spending time with them on holiday showed me
another side of these young men and how they have grown to become individuals
that their parents are mighty proud of.
Finally there’s
Amanda and Brendon, who spent a great deal of their early years with me because
I used to ferry them back from school.
When we saw these pint-size kids and considered the long hours they had
to spend commuting on a school-bus, I volunteered to drive them. So I planned my schedule around their pick-up
times and did the routine of waiting with other parents and guardians outside
two different schools.
 |
| Amanda and her brother, Brendon |
My car
was a familiar sight, first outside the primary school and then outside the
secondary school for a total of 11 years – waiting to pick up Amanda. In her secondary years she had tuition, music
and extra-curricular activities or extra classes and when she sometimes forgot
to tell me, I would be waiting endlessly – watching girls leave without any
sign of her and it worried me if something had happened.
When the
waiting got too stressful, I would phone her parents – both busy with
high-powered jobs – to let them know.
They would put me out of my misery with the confirmation that she had
some activity after class and should be picked-up later…
Apart
from sometimes failing to inform me about changes in pick-up times and causing
panic, she was a responsible student who took her studies seriously. I remember how she laughed when she
discovered that I’m quite a dud in Maths because doing well in Mathematics and
Additional Mathematics just came naturally to her!
Growing
up in an English-speaking environment, Amanda enjoyed the language and also did
well in this subject. Very often she
would show me her English class work and test papers to ask me about the
answers that her teacher insisted was correct.
I would
then explain the context of the sentence or scenario to her – to give reasons
why the teacher reached that conclusion.
Sometimes I would agree that there was something wrong with the answer
and gave her alternative answers to show her teacher.
 |
Amanda, ready to leave for her first day
in secondary school |
Every now
and then, Amanda would tell me about her experiences in school on how some of
her schoolmates misused English words or phrases. One unforgettable incident was how a group of
girls wished to find a path through a crowd but instead of saying, “Excuse me,
let me pass” or something to that effect, she yelled, “Let me pass away!”
While it
was unkind to be tickled by their atrocious command of the language, it just
saddened me that the standard of English in secondary school was simply shocking.
When
Brendon’s school friends saw my car coming to pick him, they would shout in
chorus, “Brendon, your mummy is here!” and I remember how Brendon would yell in
reply, “She’s not my mummy!” Which is
true because I’m his aunt and only a part-time mummy.
Every
time when Brendon hopped into the car, I would gauge his mood and respond
accordingly if he felt like chatting about his day at school or not. Sometimes he was tired and quiet but
sometimes he would regale me with tales of the day’s happenings. Then he told me about how a bully was doing
terrible things at home and at school.
One
incident that remains engraved in my memory must be when Brendon became a
victim of this school bully. That day,
Brendon came into my car sobbing. When I
saw it, my maternal instincts went on high alert. I coaxed him to tell me why and when I heard
what that bully did to him, I told him to wait in the car while I went to speak
to the teachers.
 |
Brendon wearing the medal he won
in his school's Merdeka Day run |
When I
reached the office to ask for the teacher-in-charge and the whereabouts of that
bully boy, a group of Brendon’s friends was trailing me, obviously eager to
help. When the office staff was unsure
of where these people were, the boys were quick to volunteer the information,
saying they knew where and quickly led me there.
These
boys claimed they witnessed what the bully did to Brendon and when I met the
boy, I reasoned with him and his guardian and urged him never to do that
again. This boy had picked on others
like Brendon who was well brought up, never to retaliate with violence.
From what
I already heard about him, I know the poor boy was from a broken home and was
probably doing silly things to get attention so I also had few choice words
with his guardian. I then asked the
bully to apologise to Brendon and he did.
Since
that incident, the sight of Brendon’s aunty struck fear in would-be bullies because
they knew that if anyone ever touched Brendon, they would have to answer to his
fiercely protective Kumaa!
Speaking
of Kumaa, the Cantonese title for aunty that my younger brother’s children use
to address me, we often have a laugh because this word sounds similar to the
Indian name, Kumar. So when
non-Cantonese speaking people heard the children calling me, “Kumaa” they often
wonder if there is an Indian in the family!
Time is
passing fast. In a few months’ time, all
my nieces and nephews would have flown their nests to start new chapters of
their lives away from home. This is an
exciting turning point for the parents as they adjust to the changes in their
proverbial empty nests.
Meanwhile
this aunty is still here, wishing them well and sharing the pride in seeing
them grow strong feathers to fly and soar to their greatest heights of
achievements.
