Looking
back to our epic family reunion for Chinese New Year 2020, we comfort ourselves
knowing that we had a most meaningful and memorable time together.
Grandfather with cousin Jessie on his lap, and other grandchildren in this precious CNY photo captured by the side of the badminton court at No. 154 Jalan Ngee Heng |
From
the start of the nationwide lockdown under the Movement Control Order (MCO) on
March 18, 2020, all annual festivals, religious and family events in the past
12 months took on another form.
The
global pandemic has limited our traditional celebrations and gatherings, but it
cannot stop the people from finding creative ways to meet and participate
virtually for both happy and sad events.
Last
year, I also had my first ever experience of attending a wedding ceremony virtually
and when I joined a family bereavement during the MCO, I felt a double dose of
sadness because attendees were limited for the wake and funeral.
Like
many weddings, many funerals were also held with limited physical attendees but
were virtually attended by many from all over the world.
My sisters, cousins and I were dressed in the same dress design one CNY |
And
to protect the vulnerable members of our families, we were advised to limit our
movements, so it is best to stay safely at home.
If
there was some benefit to gain from the limited movement control in the past year,
it must be more knowledge and awareness of a whole calendar of annual
celebrations in our multi-cultural community.
We
are a nation of multi-racial groups, so it is good to learn to differentiate
between cultural and religious celebrations of each race, whether they were
religious prayers or ancestor worship obligations, and approach them with due
respect and sensitivity.
It
is timely to discover the difference between Thaipusam and Deepavali, Hari Raya
Aidil Fitri and Hari Raya Aidil Adha, Vesak and Ponggal, Ching Ming and Hungry
Ghost Festival, the various harvest festivals and that the Lantern Festival is often
called the Mooncake Festival.
Grandmother with her five daughters and her five sons-in-law on a visit to Uncle Billy's home one CNY |
But
there is one thing in common: Families are important in every community.
Movies
have been made and songs were written with themes of going home for the
holidays and it is no different here as in everywhere in the world.
At
every major holiday like Christmas and Thanksgiving, Hari Raya and Chinese New
Year, there will be exciting plans for going home to be with the family for the
festivals followed by an exodus of people heading for home in the tradition of balik
kampung.
Another precious photo of the five sisters and their spouses on a CNY home visit |
Reunion
– as the word describes – reunites members of the family as a tradition,
usually in the home of the family patriarch, for a festive feast dubbed the
Reunion dinner.
Over
the years of gathering in grandfather’s house to enjoy a sumptuous family feast
lovingly homecooked by grandmother, I took it for granted that it was just an
annual gathering where I would meet our cousins and play with them.
It
was much later that I realized that the reason why our family was among the
people gathered in grandfather’s house for the Reunion dinner, was because dad
did not have any father’s house for us to balik kampung to!
Puffed rice crisps - a festive favourite of mine! |
It
was also traditional for married daughters to be with their in-laws for the
Reunion dinner and the first day of the lunar new year. They would visit their
parents later, usually on day two of the lunar new year.
The
Chinese have an important tradition of the Reunion dinner, quite unlike many of
my Muslim friends who have an amicable agreement with their spouses to
spend the first day of Hari Raya with his parents for one year and in the next
year, the first day of Raya with her parents.
From
day two of Chinese New Year onwards, we will visit relatives not only in Johor
Baru but also across the Causeway and to districts like Kulai and Kota Tinggi.
More festive favourites: pineapple tarts, love letter rolls, cookies and cashew nuts |
In
modern Chinese homes which practice ancestor worship, they have a family alter
where joss items are burned, and a generous spread of food offered to the
ancestors and Jade Emperor as part of the New Year celebrations.
After
grandfather’s passing, the tradition of family gatherings continued but with a
difference.
Grandmother
would enjoy the Reunion dinner on the eve of Chinese New Year with the family
of our eldest uncle – her eldest son.
And
on the first day of the lunar new year, other family members would converge at
his home to pay respects to grandmother and eldest uncle, who had inevitably
taken over the role as the family patriarch.
A fully-loaded pineapple tart! |
By
then, two of our aunts’ in-laws had passed on and our aunts were no
longer obliged by tradition to spend the eve of Chinese New Year with the
in-law side of the family.
Instead,
they decided to gather in the home of their eldest sister – our home – and we
chose to have our own version of Reunion dinner with an untraditional menu
prepared by mum.
Our
most memorable Chinese New Year eve meal was a simple yet delicious menu of nasi
lemak, chicken curry and spicy sambal ikan bilis which we enjoyed
eating together in our garden.
I also
have fond memories of visits to homes of our relatives and the delicacies they
traditionally served guests during Chinese New Year.
Freshly made kueh bahulu, sponge cakes |
The
aroma of disgusting cockroaches may be appealing to some, but it was (urgh!) an
absolute turn-off for me.
So
whenever we visited this grandaunt, I always remembered to politely decline
when this platter of Almond jelly was offered to me.
This
year, we will not hear crashing cymbals and the rhythm of drums for traditional
lion dance and dragon dance performances because they have been banned to
discourage large gatherings, avoid close contact and possible infections.
This year, we can watch lion dances performed from previous recordings, only on television... |
Due
to travel restrictions nationwide and the border between Singapore and Malaysia
still closed, many family members are also unable to travel back to have
Reunion dinner with their parents and loved ones.
With
families separated at this special time of year, we can only look back and
treasure the fond memories of our past experiences together while looking
forward to better times ahead.
Meanwhile,
we have a schedule for virtual gatherings with various branches of the extended
family which started from 12.30pm on the eve of Chinese New Year.
The
next virtual gathering is planned for 4pm this afternoon, with more virtual
gatherings lined up on day one of Chinese New Year.
We
may be separated by distance, but we certainly remain close in thought.
It
is indeed a festive season with a difference so let us obey the guidelines to stay
home and stay safe. It is up to us to help break the chain of infection.
Happy
Chinese New Year everyone! Kongxi, Kongxi!