Of family bonds, feasting and fond farewells

 

As the itinerary of the epic Asian Adventure for my sister, Pearly, and her family was coming to an end, she made an effort to prepare her grandkids with the fact that she would not be leaving with them but was extending her stay in Johor.

 

One for the family album: Photo memento of
92nd birthday celebration at Qing Palace
 

After spending much time together, travelling to various exciting destinations and enjoying many experiences together, the grandkids needed to deal with the temporary separation with the assurance that she should be home in 10 days’ time.

 

“I want to spend more time with my mummy,” I heard Pearly tell her grandkids and while they accepted this reason, it was still a painful parting at the airport Departure gates.

 

After my nephew, Jamie, and his family left for UK via Singapore, my brother and his wife – who hosted their stay in Johor Bahru – arranged to leave for Kuala Lumpur.

 

With me at Legoland on their extended stay

This was because they were responsible for an airport pick-up from KLIA when Aunty Polly and Uncle Steven returned from Sydney after their three-month stay.

 

Once they have unpacked their bags, they will repack another travel bag for a drive to Johor Bahru to meet with Pearly and her daughter, Melanie, whose extended stay here coincided with our mum’s 92^nd birthday in early September.

 

And so it was arranged for my brother and his wife to escort Uncle and Aunty, along with Aunty Sylvia, from Kuala Lumpur to Johor Bahru (again!) to join us for mum’s birthday celebration.

 

Aunt Polly and Uncle Steven checking-in 
at Sydney airport to return to Kuala Lumpur

Meanwhile, I was tasked to make reservations for a special dinner at a Chinese restaurant of our choice and this discussion was shared among the Loh siblings, to coordinate guests, travel time, cake and menu, among other arrangements.

 

When Pearly and her family arrived from the UK in August 2024, Ruby, our eldest sister, was enjoying a wintry time with her sons and grandkids in Perth, Australia.

 

On the first evening Pearly’s family was in Johor Bahru, Ruby and her family joined us via video call from Australia when we sat down for dinner with their grandkids’ great-grandmother.

 

It was the wonder of modern technology that brought our mother’s children, grandchildren and great-grandkids together – virtually – over dinner in Johor Bahru.

 

My sister, Ruby, with son, Aaron, his wife
and daughter, on the flight back from Perth

When Jamie and his family returned to the UK, Ruby and her son, Aaron with his family, were on road trip with farm-stay fun in the region around Margaret River.

 

Aaron and his wife were on leave to enjoy this road trip with his mother but when they saw that Aunty Pearly had extended her stay which would coincide with their grandmother’s 92^nd birthday, Aaron thought that it would be more meaningful if all of his grandmother’s children could be together for this special occasion.

 

As he pondered on this idea, Aaron did not hesitate to check online for flights and the possibility of travelling back with his mother, for this. After all, they were on leave and could possibly make a flying trip via Singapore to be in Johor Bahru for a few days…

 

Using his accumulated Frequent Flyer Points and for a small fee, Aaron was delighted to find suitable flights to fly in with his mother and family, to spring a surprise on everyone!

 

Everyone except me.

 

Aunts and nieces meet again for lunch
at dim sum restaurant
 

One afternoon while I was seated at the dining table, having afternoon tea with our mother, Pearly and her daughter, I received a brief WhatsApp message from Aaron’s wife who said, “Hi Ah Yee,* are you at home? Do you have a few minutes to chat privately please?”

 

When I replied, “I’m here,” it did not take long for my phone to signal a call. I grabbed my phone, retreated into the downstairs bathroom and shut the door for a brief video chat with Aaron and his wife.

 

Their first question was, “Can you arrange more seats at the birthday dinner?”

 

In our hushed conversation – punctuated by much laughter – they confirmed a travel plan to arrive from Perth a day ahead of my brother with the aunties and uncle who would be coming from Kuala Lumpur.

 

Brendon with his grandmother,
exchanging birthday gifts

My task was to prepare the bed linen for them as their flight should touch down in Singapore in the evening and by the time they reached home, it would be close to bedtime.

 

After our surreptitious video chat, it was rather difficult to keep a straight face when I returned to the table but I did and managed to hug this little secret to myself over the next few days.

 

On the day of their surprise return from Perth, I arranged for Pearly, her daughter and our niece to have dinner with my mother and I, so that we would all be in the house when they turned up.

 

Our niece, Amanda, whose parents were in Kuala Lumpur to meet Uncle and Auntie on their arrival at KLIA, was confused when she heard the sound of the auto-gate opening because her parents were the other ones who had keys to this house.

 

I saw that surprised expression on her face but kept silent. Her senses on high alert, she turned to look at the front door the moment she heard it click and saw the door open to reveal her cousin, Aaron and his mother, Ruby, stepping in…

 

Our mother with her sisters,
Polly [Left] and Sylvia [Right] 

She leapt off her chair with a squeal of surprise and pandemonium prevailed as hugs and greetings were exchanged in very successfully staged surprise!

 

It was a delightful reunion and when there was time to catch a breath, Pearly turned to me with a quizzical expression and asked, “Did anyone know about it?” 

 

When Aaron said, “Thanks, Ah Yee,” they knew that I did a good job in keeping my lips sealed for them to successfully spring such a surprise.

 

We reminded each other not to post any photographs in the family chat groups so as to maintain the surprise element for those arriving from Kuala Lumpur the next day.

 

Abigail, my sister, Ruby's grand-daughter,
singing the Birthday Song to great-grandmother

Then arrangements were made for everyone to meet for lunch at our family’s favourite dim sum restaurant the next day. The first to arrive were those in Johor Bahru and the family from Perth, comfortably seated around a large round table.

 

So when my brother, his wife and son arrived along with the aunts and uncle, they could not believe their eyes, pleasantly surprised to see the family from Perth here.

 

[After my brother’s son, Brendon, was born a day after our mother’s birthday, we often celebrated their two birthdays together. With his presence here, we happily anticipated a double celebration…]

 

Meanwhile, I had made prior arrangements with the restaurant and extended invitations to friends of the family to join our mother’s birthday celebration at one of our favorite Chinese restaurants.

 

With mother on her 92nd birthday

So the unexpected presence of Ruby, her son, his wife and daughter here, continued to surprise our friends when they arrived for the birthday celebration. 

 

Our evening kicked off (as always!) with a photo session at the familiar front lobby of the restaurant, to capture special mementoes of our time together.

 

Family and friendships were celebrated with good food in the joyous occasion of our mother’s 92^nd birthday.

 

And when the cake was presented with lighted candles, we sang the Birthday Song that was spontaneously followed by our rendition of an Indonesian/Malay folk song, Burung Gagak Tua!

 

Earlier that day, this song came up in conversation because my mother said that she only had two of her own teeth left to support her dentures.

 

Pearly [Right] and her daughter, Melanie, each
wearing one side of pairs of jade and diamond
earrings, received from grandmother

When I started singing the lyrics, “Gigi nya tinggal dua,” Malay for “she has only two teeth left,” from the Burung Gagak Tua song, Melanie was so intrigued that she did not hesitate to check online for its lyrics.

 

She not only found the lyrics but also the music which she played to help jog our memories for this familiar folk song which we used to sing in our childhood days.

 

So it was simply wonderful to have our aunts joining in to sing Burung Gagak Tua, just as we did to make our own music and entertainment in our growing up years when we lived together in grandfather’s house, once located at No. 154 Jalan Ngee Heng.

 

[More recollections of Growing Up in Grandfather’s House are documented in the third and final instalment that completed the trilogy of My Johor Stories, My Johor Stories 3: Proudly Johor, Then and Now.]

 

Birthday lunch for Brendon

Family feasting continued the next day when we gathered again at a neighbourhood café to celebrate another birthday, that of our nephew, Brendon.

 

With the family gatherings behind us, it was then time for farewells. Prior to the dates, I prepared our mother with information about those who would be leaving as she needed to be reminded and reassured.

 

First to leave was Brendon, who had to get back to work in Kuala Lumpur. Then Pearly and Melanie, who returned to the UK after their extended stay.

 

I also reminded her that Aaron and his family with his mother, would be heading to the airport in the afternoon of the very next day to leave for Perth.

 

Our aunts and uncle continued their stay to enjoy favourite local food and spend time with old friends in Johor Bahru before they too left for Kuala Lumpur with my brother and his wife.

 

Enjoying birthday lunch together 

In her old age, my mother is aware of her limits. She was just happy to have her family visit and understand that they have lives of their own. She also accepted the fact that they will eventually leave after a visit.

 

After their return, each one had stayed in touch while Pearly had called and chatted by video again so my mother could feel that she was nearby.

 

My mother agreed that people are now like birds … able to fly from one place to another so quickly. Time also flies, so maybe they will just turn up again very soon.

 

*Ah Yee is the honorific in Cantonese, to address the younger sister of one’s mother.

Whereas, the Cantonese honorific to address the older sister of one’s father is Kumah. [I learnt about this tradition because I am addressed by these two titles.]