A wedding, birthdays and three funerals

After the Movement Control Order (MCO) continued with the Conditional Movement Control Order (CMCO) that expired on June 9, we moved into the Recovery Movement Control Order (RMCO), a lockdown period with less limitations until August 31.

Dad [Right] with granduncle Leong in their twilight years

When the MCO kicked in from midnight on March 18, my family in Johor Baru felt a deep sense of relieve because we managed to attend the funeral wake for granduncle Leong in Singapore just before the border between our two countries was closed.

I was grateful for that smooth day trip to and from Singapore because it was important that we were there to comfort the bereaved family with our presence.

Granduncle Leong left us peacefully at the ripe old age of 90 on March 13 and his funeral, was arranged for March 17 in Singapore.

Members of our extended family in Kuala Lumpur who had planned to attend the funeral, had no alternative but to shelve all travel plans due to the MCO travel restrictions.

Seated: Great-grandmother [Left] and
grandmother, Mak Cheng Hai; with her
siblings [Standing L to R] Mak Kim Chew,
Mak Fong Sim (grand-aunty Leong)
and Mak Kim Hong

So, it was through photographs and video clips that extended family members could have a glimpse of the send-off for granduncle Leong and we comforted each other for having recently shared precious time with him on his 90^th birthday celebration.

Meanwhile months ago, a former classmate had asked our group in JB to save-the-date to attend her daughter’s wedding banquet.

With friends and family on both sides of the causeway, she had arranged to host separate celebrations for the newly-weds to meet everyone.

As the date drew closer, the wedding hosts were feeling reluctant about proceeding with their plans to host a banquet in Johor Baru because of the alarming news reports on the pandemic and many invitees had already declined their invitation.

Finally, our classmate – the mother of the bride – reached the difficult decision to cancel the banquet in JB with apologies. While it was awkward to cancel at the eleventh hour, it was a great relieve for everyone once this decision was made.

Meanwhile the wedding proceeded as planned in Singapore with the couple’s scheduled registration of marriage followed by a small family celebration.

When photos of the beautiful wedding were shared, our joy and warm wishes were no less for the newly-weds and their parents, as we virtually celebrated with them while staying safe at home.

In the quiet of the MCO, our extended family stayed in touch by telephone chats and video calls and we soon discovered that many of our birthdays were in March, April and May.

On the days preceding Uncle Steven’s birthday on March 24, his dear wife was on the telephone with my mother, seeking some tips to make a traditional steamed sponge cake.

Aunty had the recipe and ingredients – eggs, sugar and flour – but she probably lost touch with the method of preparation, so she asked my mother for some useful tips.

Bakeries and pastry shops were all closed at this stage of the MCO, so aunty decided to make this simple steamed sponge cake for her husband’s birthday.

Then she wisely had a trial baking session ahead of her husband’s birthday…

When Aunty shared a photo of the results of her first attempt at making her steamed sponge cake, we had to admit that it looked nothing like a cake but instead, resembled a thick cookie!

Undeterred by her failed attempt, she went on to make yet another cake. Her photos of her collapsed cake proved that it was yet another futile attempt.

We all agree that Aunty Polly is a good cook, one who had mastered grandmother’s recipe for Teochew braised duck among other local delicacies like Assam Laksa, but after this venture, we had to admit that her baking skills are sadly lacking.

While we had to minus points for her cake, she scored full marks for her love and determination!

The next morning, she shared another shot of a slice of her cookie-cake, this time spread with butter for her breakfast.

She claimed that it still tasted good. And I believed her because it was made with the extra ingredient called Love.

Granduncle Mak Kim Chew with grandson

When April 1 rolled around, it was easy to remember that it was Uncle Billy’s birthday again and we sent him our warmest wishes.

Then on April 4, we received another piece of sad news.

Granduncle Mak Kim Chew had passed away peacefully in a Singapore nursing home but due to the MCO and the Circuit Breaker in force in Singapore, only his immediate family could attend his funeral.

Granduncle Mak was grandmother’s youngest brother, a 94-year old widower who had retired to live in this Home. He and his late wife were a loving couple and after her passing, his health further deteriorated.

By this time in the MCO, some Food & Beverage outlets were opened for business and to celebrate his birthday on April 18, cousin Ryan had a treat of an ice-cream cake!

Meanwhile cousin Gillian in Sydney, Australia, bought a whole Pandan Kaya Cake to remotely celebrate his birthday with him. Yes, she also ate the cake on his behalf.

On May 1, I received several video clips that featured, First of May, a poignant and familiar tune by the Bee Gees.

Throughout the MCO, cousin Philip’s parents stayed with him and his family.  

Philip and I were in regular contact to chat about his parents’ health and wellbeing and to encourage him on the daily ups and downs in dealing with the elderly.

His aged parents had been in and out of hospital for underlying illnesses and when they stayed together during the MCO, Philip was glad that they were kept in stable health.

In early May during the CMCO, some sectors of industries were encouraged to start work again, so Philip arranged for fulltime care for his parents in a Care Home as he was going back to work soon.

His mother, Aunty Elizabeth, a former nursing sister, celebrated a quiet birthday on May 6, while she was staying in hospital.

Grand-aunty Leong celebrated her birthday
on May 10 with her immediate family

She was a diabetic and because she felt unwell, she asked to be readmitted to hospital after just one day’s stay with the Home.

Meanwhile on May 10, grand-aunty Leong – who was recently widowed – had a small birthday celebration at home in Singapore with her immediate family.

In the next few days, Aunty Elizabeth’s health deteriorated rapidly, and she passed peacefully on May 14.

I was deeply saddened to receive that news from Philip as he and his family had done their best for her while his parents stayed with them during the MCO.

I was ready to help him with all the necessary info and advise to make the wake and funeral arrangements, but his next question cut me to the core.

“How do I tell Papa?” he asked, and I paused a moment before I replied.

Uncle Roland have always been the pillar of strength for his wife and now that she had left him, it was clearly a challenge to break the sad new to him.

Aunty Elizabeth [Right] and Uncle Roland
with their two younger sons,
Philip and Jessie (on uncle's lap)

In recent years, Aunty and I had conversations about funeral arrangements, and I could understand that Philip wanted to fulfill his mother’s wishes accordingly.

But under the strict requirements of the MCO, I comforted Philip that while we would try to fulfill his mother’s wishes to the best of our ability, some things might be beyond our control.

With this understanding in mind, he made the arrangements with the funeral director for a two-night wake before her funeral the following morning.

Once again, members of our extended family in KL grappled with the idea to drive to JB to attend her funeral but as interstate travel was still strictly prohibited, they had no alternative but to drop any travel plans.

On day two of the wake, family members in JB paid their last respects to Aunty and her funeral the next morning was witnessed by her immediate family and four others, including my sister and me.

The funeral service went on smoothly and at the close of the brief ceremony in the crematorium, the skies opened with a heavy downpour to mark the end of a sad and solemn event.

Meanwhile, extended family members could only participate virtually in this send-off through a series of photos and video clips.

On May 22, when she woke up in the UK, cousin Bernice’s birthday was also virtually celebrated by her parents in KL. They sang her the birthday song, cut a cake for her via a video chat and even ate the cake on her behalf.

Ahead of her birthday this year, I had shared several posts about the birth of Bernice and documented the horrific incident where baby Bernice, her mother and Saroja, the helper, miraculously survived the shocking crash caused by a drunk driver.

During the MCO, news about drink-drivers involved with fatal crashes reminded us that the threat of drunken drivers is still prevalent and that it is never too late to educate about the responsibilities in alcohol drinking and the severe consequences of driving under the influence of alcohol.

On May 23, Uncle Arthur celebrated his birthday and was pleased to receive his favourite durian baked in pastries - delivered to his doorstep - from his daughter and son-in-law in Canada, and a sumptuous lunch from his son and daughter-in-law, also delivered to him.

A wedding, many birthdays and three funerals in the past three months are just the tip of the proverbial iceberg among the challenges that had arisen within the family.

I am sure others too had their fair share of ups and downs and with the support from family and friends, managed to deal with it to the best of their abilities during these unprecedented times.

Note: All flowers featured are from our garden, at home in Johor Baru.